Clearwater Boxing Center

5.5 Reasons People Do Not Set Goals

With all of the outstanding benefits that research has proven in regards to goal setting practices over the years, why is it that so many people you know (you too maybe?) still do not set goals for themselves? Since the turn of the 20^th Century, stacks of data have been compiled demonstrating just how powerful the art of goal setting truly is. Yet even so, I still speak with people each week who state that they do not have written goals- much less any other kind of goals. These same people also declare that they want to be successful in life financially, or achieve peak physical fitness, or improve their focus and concentration on the job, etc. But the question still remains: why do so many people still choose to live their lives without clarifying their most important goals with so many facts and statistics indicating such great payoffs?

The answer to this is not as simple as you may think, as there are certain characteristics, even psychological blocks, that lead people to under achievement, frustration and mediocrity. If you are the type of person that wants to move forward in their life, regardless of the area you’re looking to improve in (physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, financial) then you’ll want to read further to see what road blocks may be standing in your way or could at some point in the future. With this knowledge, your chances of reaching new heights in life become much more tangible and reachable.

Here are the 5.5 Reasons People Do Not Set Goals:

1. Fear Criticism- For most people this fear is developed during early childhood and/or adolescence. Well meaning parents or teachers may have discouraged you from setting goals by pointing out all of the reasons why it would not work. They of course felt as if they were protecting you from getting your hopes too high and then being disappointed if you didn’t succeed. Also, over the years, perhaps in High School, many people get ridiculed by their peers for wanting to achieve something great. When that happens, you learn to shut-up and keep your dreams to yourself. You learn to play it safe, to go along with the crowd and not to rock the boat. The unfortunate reality of this fear is that you take it into adulthood where you continue to conform and sell yourself short time and time again, thus leading to low self esteem, low self confidence and lack of any real motivation. If you can learn to let go of what others think of you, you’ll find that setting and achieving your most important life’s goals will come to pass much faster and easier than you can possibly believe.

2. Fear of Accepting Responsibility- As Emerson once said “no one can cheat you out of ultimate success in life but you.” It is always easier to blame your environment, your family, your genetics, the economy, the government, your neighbors, or your boss (etc., etc.), then to look at yourself in the mirror and see the real problem. Most people are lazy and find comfort in explaining away their failures or lack of effort. They reason that if it’s not their fault then they won’t look bad or have to work as hard or no one will blame them. Yet once you accept responsibility for the condition of your life (work, health), you’ll see that instantaneously, setting goals becomes a simple daily task.           

3. Fear of Success- This is an odd fear, yet it is a very real one and tends to hold many people back in life. Most of these people were raised with the belief that making money and being “a success” is a bad thing,  that they will somehow become like Scrooge in the old Charles Dickens’s Christmas fable. These people who fear success will strive hard to fit-in and will even apologize to others for their accomplishments. In other words they fear standing out or being different than their friends even if means sacrificing their success. It will do wonders to your achievements in life to evaluate your beliefs about money, success, appearance, etc. and change your perception about what these things mean to you in order to fear less and achieve more.

4. Fear of Failure- Everyone you know has this fear! Many of the top achievers you know have this fear in buckets! Which is usually why they have become successful in the first place. (A good use of fear.) However, many more people will allow this fear to control them to the point of preventing themselves from even setting a goal in the first place. Their mentality is “if I don’t try, I will never have to face failure and all of the pain and embarrassment that comes with it.”  Instead, if you can live by the statement “nothing beats a failure but a try”, you’ll prevent this fear from ever manifesting in your life and you’ll see that fear of failure slip away as more and more of your goals are accomplished.

5. Never Learned How-I don’t know about you, but there was never a Goal Setting 101 class in High School or College, nor did my folks, coaches or instructors take me aside and teach me at any age. And I suspect the same is true for you.  Setting, managing and achieving personal goals is a skill set that makes all of the difference in reaching your personal level success. Back in the 1970’s a 20 year study began at Harvard University in regards to goals. The students were asked if they had any goals after they graduated and it was discovered that only 3% of the class had clear written goals. Within 20 years, that same 3% had accumulated more wealth than the other 97% put together. Learn how to set goals.

5.5 Hanging Around the Wrong Crowd- Think that the people in your life don’t make an impact on you? Think again. I’ve dumped people out of my life because they were too negative or didn’t believe in me. I have one life and no time for nay-sayers. You’ll find that when you’re making a real effort to reach your goals in life, there will be people who will be like crabs in a pot of boiling water: when one is trying to escape, the others will pull them back in! When you begin to tell friends what your goals and dreams are, you’ll find out quickly who you can go to for support and who you’ll want to avoid. The more time you spend with people who will support you in your efforts (even it’s just emotional support by telling you to stick with it), who will push you forward in life, the more obvious it becomes that  you’ve found true friends. To find the right crowd to hang around, simply ask yourself if the people you hang around are an anchor (hold you down) or a motor (push you forward) and then spend more time with the motors.

FREE OFFER: Having difficulty breaking one of these “blocks” to success? Shoot me an e-mail and we’ll see if we can’t overcome it together! John@BlackBeltLiving.com

2^nd FREE OFFER: Goal Setting Seminar this Friday night at 7pm. See you there!

3.5 Ways to Get Motivated - FAST!!

On any given day your attitude gets down from time to time, doesn’t it? Not all the time of course, but on occasion it happens. On a day-to-day basis, you deal with many different personalities and situations that challenge your mental and emotional well being. And many times, depending on the degree of intensity of each, the wind can be sucked right out of your sails and your normal level of motivation flattened like a pancake by the end of any given week. The situations that deflate your motivation could range anywhere from the dog puking on the carpet, to losing your job due to the economy, or someone breaking up with you.

But the real questions here are these: How do you handle that sudden decrease in motivation? What do you do when you’d rather dig your eyes out with spoon than go to work and deal with your seemingly evil and demanding boss or brainless coworkers? How can you manage to get yourself back into a frame of mind that allows you to handle the current challenges while still being able to be successful and productive in your daily endeavors?

Well, you just may find your answers here in my 3.5 Ways To Get Motivated- FAST!!

1. Create Your Own Personal Mantra: Definition: Mantras date back thousands of years and are traditionally syllables and poems in the Sanskrit language created through a complex numerical system based on date and time of birth.(Huh?) Today, mantras are more widely recognized (and easier to create) as personal chants, affirmations and/or declarations that are used to change or transform aspects of our lives. Mantras can be amazingly powerful, but they can also be detrimental too if you pick the wrong one. By developing and using a mantra – one that stimulates and inspires you – getting motivated becomes much easier and a heck of a lot quicker too.  Here is the mantra I use in the gym when I’m getting tired, “keep going.” Simple right? Yup, but there is a lot behind those two words. “Keep Going” to me means that I’m not weak or a quitter, that I do not give up because champions do not give up. I could say “don’t give up” right? But for me that phrase keeps me focused on how I might give up. It may sound subtle to you, but when I am pushing 100 pound dumbbells in each hand over my head several times, I do not want to think about quitting- I want to stay focused on moving the weight!!

Another mantra that my girlfriend Mary and I use at the gym is “Finish Strong.” We use this phrase at the end of a set and most definitely at the end of the workout when we are tired. This mantra motivates us to continue to push ourselves as best we can because neither one of us likes to walk out of the gym knowing that we didn’t give our all that night. The members here at Clearwater Boxing Center use a Mantra too. I yell out “Last Set!!” and they yell back “Best Set!!” This works great because it helps them to stay mentally focused and give that extra effort that they might not have given otherwise.

Here are a few things to keep in mind when Creating Your Own Personal Mantra:

·         Keep it simple

·         It should be easy to repeat and remember

·         It can represent an entire range of values

·         It can be motivational

·         It can be instructional

·         It can be humorous

·         It should not be pessimistic

·         It should not be corny or stupid (or you won’t take it seriously)

·         It should be personal to you and your goals

2. Get Physical: Losing your motivation can take its toll on you not just mentally but physically as well, because when you’re down in the dumps, not only are you lacking mental motivation, but there is a distinct lack of physical energy as well. For instance, it may take you more effort to get out of bed and get ready for work. It might require more energy for you to stay awake and focused while on the job. It will take more energy to get to the gym much less have a good work out. You may also have to make more of an effort to do simple household chores as well. Try this: for about one minute, get depressed. How do you do this? Well, you slump your shoulders, tuck your chin, you let out a deep sigh, etc. In order for you to get depressed, there are certain physical actions that you need to take to help you become depressed.

Well the opposite is true as well- there are certain actions that you need to take to get yourself motivated. Most of these are very simple to do of course, but they have such strong results that I encourage you to try each one. For instance, if you were to laugh out loud for no particular reason, let’s say in your car as you drive down the road, and do it several times in succession, you’ll most likely end up laughing hysterically for real. (Try it. Laugh like Jack Nicholson when he played the Joker. Or laugh like a mad scientist.) Once you’ve taken that particular action to that degree, your body will be filled with new and more positive emotions and endorphins (see next step), and simultaneously it will require another concerted effort on your part to get back to being depressed!

Here are a few ways to Get Physical:

·         Sit-up straight

·         Stand up straight

·         Take 5 deep breaths

·         Smile REALLY big

·         Laugh out loud and crazy

·         Tell yourself a really bad joke

·         Play a practical joke on a buddy

·         Take a short but brisk walk

·         Work out at Clearwater Boxing Center

·         Create your own

3. Keep Your Eyes on the Future: Another great way to get motivated fast is to think about what your life will be like once you’ve achieved your goals and reached that level of success you’re striving towards. Think about how you’ll look in that new dress or new suit after losing all of that body fat. Consider how you’ll feel once your first book or manuscript is sold. Imagine how excited you’ll be once you purchase that special car or truck you’ve always wanted. By looking towards the future, you will literally create positive emotions that will affect you physiologically in the here and now- yes, physiologically.

 Scientists have discovered that each emotion has a certain chemical make up to it that once it hits your bloodstream it creates a particular response- just like drugs and alcohol would. (Which is why many people say they are addicted to adrenaline, or anger, etc. Very close to the truth!) Knowing that emotions can affect you in such a way, allowing yourself to create healthy positive ones only serves you better in your day-to-day journey of personal success. When you do look to the future, try to create positive sensations/emotions such as excitement, happiness, enthusiasm, joy, etc.

Here a few ways to Keep Your Eyes on the Future and get motivated FAST!

·         See that bonus check for xx amount of dollars in your hand

·         Imagine yourself with six pack abs

·         Visualize yourself driving that new car

·         Picture yourself in that new dress or suit

·         Create a poster board with magazine clippings representing your goals

·         Create your own future visualization

3.5 Keep Your Feet in the Present: While it is always helpful to picture the future as you would like it to be and get excited about it, the only way to actually get there is by staying in the here and now and taking action towards your goals. Basically, staying in the here and now means: taking at least one action towards one of your most important goals (whether that be financial, physical health, career, etc.) at the time you’re feeling the most down or depressed.  By taking an action or two now towards one of those goals you’ll get motivated fast because you’ll realize that you’re one step closer towards achieving it. And if that doesn’t help to begin to change your state and get you motivated fast, then try again! Keep doing this over and over, along with reciting your mantra (step 1), sitting up straight and breathing deep (step 2) and thinking about the future results you want (step 3). This is as simple as it gets folks! You can literally be walking down the sidewalk towards your next sales call with your back straight/head high, chanting your mantra with a big smile, thinking about how this one sale will put you ahead and then just walk through the door!

Here a few ways to Keep Your Feet in the Present:

• Make that sales call that you’ve been putting off
• Work out (always comes back to that huh?)
• Call someone in your net working group and run an idea past them
• Help someone less fortunate than yourself
• Brainstorm ideas on possible solutions to various problems
• Eat pizza (always helps me I have to say)
• Create your own way to stay in the present

FREE OFFER: Staying motivated is definitely not the be-all or end-all of achieving your goals or living a life of personal success, but it does help! If you’re finding yourself getting down, shoot me an e-mail and we’ll see if we can’t get you headed in a better direction. John@BlackBeltLiving.com

1. Exercise: OK, you knew this of course but there are so many forms of exercise that most people get lost as to which is the best way. Is it lifting weights? Is it running? Using the cardio machines at the gym? Swimming? Biking? Boxing or Kickboxing? Walking? Which one is best? Well, the answer to that question all depends on you. It depends on your goals, your current fitness levels, age, current or past injuries, abilities or inabilities, likes & dislikes and overall interests. However, if you were to join a course designed to work everything, like here at Clearwater Boxing, then you’d have it made!

The program here at Clearwater Boxing Center is geared to help you with all of what you are looking for in regards to getting into shape. In every class you burn fat, build muscle, increase your physical stamina, enhance your cardio vascular endurance and learn to defend yourself as well. In each class you work your legs, your abs, shoulders, chest, back and arms in each class. You work your core muscles every time you train here. You develop speed, timing, accuracy and greater body control. You also increase your self esteem and self confidence because each week you’ve moved closer to becoming the person you’re striving hard to become!

Here are a few ways that will help you maximize your results here at Clearwater Boxing to reach your goals quicker:

·         Come 5-10 minutes early and warm-up to better prevent injuries.

·         Practice jumping rope before or after classes.

·         Practice any new techniques before or after classes.

·         Run on the days you do not attend class.

·         If you miss a few days, make sure that you do several sets of push-ups, crunches and squat kicks.

·         Get 5 or 10 private lessons from Coach John Kyle once every few months.

·         Push yourself in each class and do not allow yourself to quit- ever.

·         Lift weights a few times each week or month.

·         Run, bike or swim on the days you do not train here in Boxing.

·         Create your own ways to improve your physical exercise!

2. Food Intake: OK, you knew this one too of course, but let’s shed some light in a few areas that you may not have considered. For instance, do you know if protein or carbohydrates builds muscle? What is the best source of energy for your body? How much water should you drink each day? How many meals should you eat each day if you are training here at Clearwater Boxing? For those of you who found those questions easy to answer, there are at least 20 other people who are clueless. Clearwater Boxing and Fitness trains their clients as if they were a real fighter, or attempting to become one. That means that you must make sure that your body is fueled and hydrated long before you step foot inside the gym!

If you’re the type of person who will read new diet books every so often and then decide to slash all of your carbohydrates out of your food intake for a few weeks because that particular diet said to do so but then you still expect to maintain the same performance level in your training session, you will be sadly mistaken! (I see this too often.) You would most likely run out of energy within 15 minutes, get light-headed and perhaps feel nauseated as well. If you want to drop carbs, that’s OK, but you may want to think about doing so in a cyclical manor every few days. This way you’re body will use what carbs have been stored on the “low carb” days, and then you’ll be able to replenish them on the “normal carb” days before you run yourself down and feel weak. (Please note “low” carb, not “no” carb.) If your goal is to lose weight (i.e. Body fat) then you may want to try the suggestions listed below. By staying close to these suggestions, you’ll most likely find that you will have plenty of energy as you train hard in each class to reach your goals without feeling run down or exhausted at the end of the day. Here they are:

·         Drink a gallon of water per day. It’s easier than you think.

·         Eat 4-6 meals per day. Think of your body like one of those old choo-choo trains: the more often coal that was pumped into the furnace, the brighter the fire and the faster the speed. So try to “stoke the fire” of your body’s metabolism every 3 hours or so. A “meal” could be a chicken breast and potato or a protein shake and a banana. Keep it simple.

·         Eat approximately 1 gram of protein per body pound per day. 200 grams if you weigh 200 pounds, etc. Protein builds muscle 24/7 and your body needs to burn extra calories to do so. Also be sure to increase your protein if you are trying a “low” carb day to keep your calorie intake the same.

·         Eat 1.5 to 2 grams of carbs per body pound each day on normal carb days. Decrease that by almost 50% for “low” carb days. This may or may not be best for you, so you want to try a few variations and /or consult your doctor first.

·         Consume good protein sources: Chicken, lean beef, eggs, fish, protein bars or shakes.

·         Consume good sources of carbohydrates: brown rice, vegetables, whole grain breads, etc.

·         ALWAYS eat breakfast. It kick-starts your metabolism which helps to burn more calories each day.

·         ALWAYS eat a healthy meal within one hour or less after your workout. You body is starving for the nutrients it just burned, so give it something healthy that will digest quickly. Like a protein shake for example.

·         Try not to eat within a half hour or an hour of one of the classes here at Clearwater Boxing- you’ll most likely cramp up or have the pleasure of tasting the meal all over again.

·         Try not to snack late at night. Since you’re most likely inactive, your body will store the extra calories as fat.

·         If you’re attempting to build muscle, have a small protein shake before you go to bed. This way your body will use the protein to burn the calories it needs to repair itself, not your muscles.

·         If you are attempting to lose body fat, consume most of your daily calories earlier in the day and less at night since you are most likely inactive.

·         Give yourself a “cheat day” or night where you can eat whatever you want. This way you have something to look forward to each week and not feel as if you are being deprived.

·         Try not to do a “diet”. Diets imply “temporary.” Try to develop a lifestyle of healthy eating.

3. Rest: Finding the right balance between training and resting is a much more important aspect of success than most people realize. And here is where folks swing too far to one side where they get too much rest and never seem to achieve their fitness goals, and others who don’t rest enough and again limit the results they could get by over-training. The trouble that these folks face (outside of being lazy or obsessive) is that they are not sure exactly how much rest is enough and when to take it. Some will rest only on their 2 week vacation each year, while others will take only 2 days per month. Still, some only 2 days per week. Others will stop because they have over done it and are now burned out on the activity they have been involved with. Of course there are the other folks who train once per week and rest for 6 days. (Not you of course!)

Yet, the questions still remains- how much is too much and how much is too little? Well the answer is simple: it depends! That’s right, there is no one-pat-answer to that question because everyone is different. The needs of a 65 year old are different from a 24 year old, right? So, it depends on: your age, physical abilities or limitations, your injuries, work schedule, family life, social life, etc. Get the idea? This is one answer that you’ll have to find on your own and by following the suggestions below you just may get your answer:

• Create a training routine that will last 2-3 weeks and have you training 6 days each week with having Sunday off. Evaluate how you feel towards the end of each week as well as the results you are gaining from this training schedule.
• Create another training routine lasting 2-3 weeks that has you training 5 days per week and taking both Saturday and Sunday off. Again evaluate how you feel, etc.
• Create a 3^rd training routine for the next 2-3 weeks that has you training only 4 days per week taking off on Wednesday, Saturday and Sunday. Evaluate how you feel at the end of each week.
• Ask these questions to help you evaluate each routine:
• Do you feel more or less energetic at work or home?
• Do I have plenty of energy for my workout? (You should be tired at the end though!)
• Are you old injuries flaring up more or less?
• Is your mood elevated or stifled from too much or not enough exercise?
• Once you’ve found that right formula that gives you optimal gains, stick to it as much as you can and then change it! (Yes change it. Read 3.5 to find out why!)

3.5 Consistency (and Change): Here is the secret to making all of this work- be consistent in the first 3 areas of physical fitness as much as you can because your goals WILL NOT manifest over night! The principle of consistency is what really makes your fitness results shine through! However, I guarantee you failure if you accomplish your goals and then simply quit right after- because you’ll go back to the way you were eating and training within 2 weeks. Now how would you feel if you allowed that happen? Not too good I’d imagine. Some people think that consistency is hard, and it can be, but that is why getting your rest is so crucial. From time to time you need to allow yourself to take a week or so off of training and let you body and mind heal, but then you need to get back to it! Being consistent is how you’ll turn the first 3 principles into a healthy lifestyle that will have you looking and feeling great, permitting you to get the most out of your life each week, month and year! 

Now, some of you reading this may say, “but wait John! Being consistent is going to be boring after a while!” Well, it could be, but that is why you also need to be consistent in changing your routines every few weeks if you’re the type of person who gets bored easy. (I’m not. I can go 6 months to a year before I change anything.) Perhaps instead of jogging, next week or next month you could do sprints. Instead of lifting weights, next month you could swim. Rather than using the stair climber, next week you can bike on the road. The one thing you never want to stop of course is training here at Clearwater Boxing because we hit the entire body every class. We build muscle (if you’re eating right), we burn fat (if you’re eating right) develop your cardio vascular endurance, build self confidence and self esteem, teach self defense and most importantly, we motivate and inspire you every class!

Here are a few ways to be consistent and still keep things fresh:

• Change your weekly routine from 4 training days, to 5 and then 6 every few weeks.
• Change what you do each day: Monday is running after Boxing, Tuesday is biking after Boxing, Wednesday is the elliptical after Boxing, Thursday is 3 rounds of jump rope after Boxing, Friday is weight lifting after Boxing, etc.
• Say “NO” to hanging out with the friends if they call on your scheduled training night. Your friends will be there the next time and you’ll have no regrets.
• Take 5 or 10 private training sessions with John Kyle every 6 months or so.
• Read magazines or search the internet for new workouts.
• Get friends involved with you training here at Clearwater Boxing Gym as well as with your other activities. This way you’ll have someone to help hold you accountable for your actions.
• Find your own ways to stay steady and consistent towards your goals as well as changing things keep it all fresh so you don’t get bored!

FREE OFFER: Need some help creating a personalized training and eating routine? Give me a call or send me an e-mail and we’ll talk. But don’t waste my time. If you have no intention of giving this a chance as a way of life for at least one year, call someone else. If you want results that last- I’m here for you.

September 2008

3.5 Way to Increase Your Focus

• Repeat the phrase "Easy Does It" a few times
• Take 3-5 deep breathes
• Count to 10
• Take a 10 minute break by yourself during the day
• (Even if you can only escape to the restroom!!)
• Call a friend and tell them how stressed you are
• Have them tell you "Easy Does It" because sometimes you'll get it better if it come from someone else.
• Find something to laugh at

2. Put First Things First: One reason people get stressed it due to the amount of things that they try to take on each day. They'll put 10 things on their to-do list and attempt to finish them all at once. They do this without giving any thought to what task should get done first and what can wait until tomorrow. These folks fail to prioritize their list and because of that, many things that seem important yet are just easy to do, get priority and the things that are important yet challenging to do get pushed aside due to fear and/or laziness. Even the best of you fall victim to this character trait every now and again. By Putting First Things First, you'll find that the top-priority items on your list will get done ahead of time or right on time, which will help to decrease the amount of stress you feel each day. And of course by getting things done on time, you'll be able to spend all of that wasted time you had with family, friends or on your favorite activities. Here are a few ways to Put First Things First:

• Prioritize each item on your to-do list
• A1, A2, A3, B1, B2, B3, C1, C2, C3
• A's get top priority, then B's and so on
• Work from your list each day

3. Live and Let Live: Got Friends and family? Of course you do. We all have other people in our lives that we speak with or see on a daily/weelky basis. Those are the relationships in your life that effect you in ways that you can see and even in ways that you cannot. You can all see when someone makes you happy or sad, (simple) but can you see how your reaction towards others makes you happy or sad? (Not so simple.) Many people will get very caught up in what others are doing in their lives, so much so that they can create unneccessary stress for themselves. You'll see people getting so angry because of someone elses political affiliaction. (Not you of course.) You'll see people condeming others because of the religion they choose to belong to. (Not You of course.) You'll see folks talking negativly about others simply because of the clothes they wear. (Again, not you.) It is very possible for you to get so wrapped-up in what other people are doing, saying, beleiving or wearimng that you create stress where there really shouldn't be.

• Focus on your own political affiliation
• Focus on your own spiritual development
• Focus on your own wardrobe
• Focus on your own body weight
• Focus on YOU

3.5 One Day at a Time: This is the catch phrase for the gym (in case you missed it up top) and I chose this phrase for a reason. In my fights, I was not always able to think about what I should be doing in the later rounds because I wasn't there yet. I was too busy either hitting my opponent, or prayimg to the Gods-that-be that I'd still have a face that night. (Many times it was both.) Fighting seems to have a unique way of keeping you in the "NOW", but that's not always so simple to do in regards to life, is it? For instance, how can you focus on the here and now when you may not be able pay some of your bills next month? How can you stay in the present when you have no idea what the future may hold for your career or relationship? By allowing yourself to be consumed with thoughts of what may or may not happen in the future, you stripe away your chances of being successful today. Yes it is a VERY good idea to plan for the future, but once the planning is done, you need to do the work in the here-and-now, and of course you can only do what is in front of you and no more. When you take care of the days, the years take care of themselves.

3.5 Ways to Find Your Passion

Have you seen the new commercial where everyone in town runs up to the top of the hill to block out "Monday Morning" from coming? It is a commercial for Monster.com to illustrate how many people do not enjoy what they do for a living- and there are lots. You can see when your career does not exactly meet your standards for what you truly want to do or be in life, yet many times people can fail to see that their career does not always have to be their "Calling" either. They can be very different from one another- and with that understanding, it just may be easier to find what your true passion in life might be.

Here are a few ways that can help you find your true "Calling":

1. Understand The Difference (between work and passion): Again, work and passion may not always mix, and that's OK for many people. In American, we're all sent the same old message that states "you should be doing what you love for a living, and if you're not you should be." We hear almost every day the popular phrase “when you do what you love you’ll never work another day in your life” and it’s a great phrase too. The unfortunate part of all of this is that people feel as if they’re a failure because they’re not doing what they love for a living! How far from the truth that can be! There are millions of Americans who are no position to pursue a dream or a passion as a means of livelihood because they have people who are financially dependent upon them. Just look at the many single moms out there who are a pay check away from homelessness, not to mention the financially strapped adults who are taking care of their elderly parents, and the list of challenging situations can increase from there. So understand what a job is for most of the time- money. It it’s very base level, a job pays the bills and puts food on the table. A "Calling" or a "Passion" or a "Dream" or a "what-ever-you-want-to-call-it" does not necessarily mean that you have to make money at it. The differences between the two are that one is for making a living and another is for creating a life of meaning. A job pays the rent and a “Passion” fulfills meaning and purpose. A job keeps the lights on and a “Calling” can help ‘turn on the lights’ inside of your own heart. Don’t get down on yourself or feel like a failure because what you do for a living is not fulfilling your life’s purpose- it doesn’t always have too. Also, working on one’s Life Purpose can come years after they have retired from a life long career.

2. Ask (and answer) Questions: If you already know what you Life’s Purpose or Calling is, then skip this step and move to the next. To find out what your purpose in life might be, you’ll need to ask yourself some questions that will make you think. By answering these questions, you’ll have a greater understanding of yourself and what you really what to do in life. But there is one catch here- you have to ask some these questions in relation to helping others. For instance, when you ask the question “what brings you joy?” your answer may be “sitting quietly reading a book” or “prayer and meditation”.  While that may be a great answer, it has little to do with others. With a few of these questions, you need to ask them in relation to others. Finding the answers to these questions can help you find what your Passion is.

• What gifts or talents do you have that may help others?
• What activities cause you to forget what time it is?
• What brings you joy?
• What excites you?
• If you had all the money you’d ever need, what would you do all day, every day?
• What compliments have others given you recently?
• If you had to teach something, what would you teach?
• What do people typically ask you for help with?
• What would you like to be remembered for after you pass away?
• What accomplishments or contributions?
• What do you want your family to say about you at your funeral?
• What about your friends?
• When you’re at the end of your life, what would you regret not doing?

To read the rest of the article click here:

3. Search the internet and make the call: Once you’ve answered those questions, begin a search on the internet for any companies or groups in your area that are doing what you’re looking to do. For instance, if you’ve found that what you want to do is work with animals, then type Humane Society or “work with animals”  into a search engine on Google or Yahoo and see what comes up. If working with disabled people seems to be something you’re looking to get involved with, then type in Special Olympics, or “work with disabilities” along with the city or town you live in and see what companies or groups pop up. After a few searches, you’ll have a very long list of people to contact, and of course that’s what you’ll want to do right away also. See if those companies or groups have any job openings or room for volunteers and how quickly you can get started. Know that not all of the people you speak with will offer you a paid or volunteer position, but don’t let that deter you from your path- keep making those phone calls. Sooner or later, you’ll find a group that will need some type of help somewhere.

4. Try it on for size: Ok, at this point you now know that your purpose in life just might not have anything to do making money. You’ve asked and answered some much needed questions and you’ve even found a place to see if the answers you’ve come up with are really what you’re looking for. Now what you need to do (obviously) is to give it a few weeks to see if this is it. If you think that working with animals is what you’re looking for, then give that volunteer position at the Humane Society at least 2 weeks to see if this it. If it was working with people with disabilities, then give the experience enough time to see if you gel with it. You may find that you like the work, but not the company- or vice versa. In any case, you need to get out there and experience what you think you may be looking for, because sometimes the best way to find what you want in life is to experience what don’t want. So get going!!

FREE OFFER: If you’ve never been through the process of searching for what you want to do, have, achieve, become or contribute in your life, then give me a call. I just may be able to help you find what you’re looking for. 727-797-4528 or John@BlackBeltLiving.com

3.5 Lessons From Boxing
 
I have had the fortune to train in Boxing, Kickboxing and Martial Arts since I was 12 years old and since that time I have been exposed to the fight game on a regular basis. It, I feel, is one of the preeminent measures of competition there is. What could be a greater challenge (or greater insanity?) than to get into a ring and place yourself in a situation where, quite literally, you may not walk back out? It demands a strong will and desire to overcome not only the person in front of you, but also to overcome your own demons; your fears and doubts. It demands that you rise to the occasion - even if the battle is being lost. 

 Yet Boxing is not just one of the ultimates in competition, it is also one of the ultimates for learning about life. You may not be looking to compete in Boxing (or Kickboxing/MMA) anytime soon, but here are 3.5 Lessons to Learn From Boxing to help improve the quality of your life:

 1. Stay on Your Toes: If a fighter is flatfooted in the ring, they are easily hit by their opponent. They become sluggish and cannot get to their target fast enough to score points. Yet, by staying on their toes, they possess the ability to strike when they want too and evade when they need to.
Your life can be like that can’t it? When you rest on your past accomplishments and “coast”, you become a target for laziness, indulgence and disorder- all of which lead to failure in one degree or another. Yet if you can continue to stay on your toes daily, you’ll find that when life takes a shot at you, you’ll be able to move out of the way and counter with your own strikes of success!

 Here are a few ways to stay on your toes:

·         Wake up early and work out
·         Eat right 95% of the time
·         Develop your network of friends and professionals weekly
·         Give more than expected

FREE OFFER: Need more ideas on “Staying on your toes”? Shoot me an e-mail or give me a call and we’ll talk. 727-797-4528 or John@BlackBeltLiving.com 

2. Look for the openings: Many untrained fighters get in the ring and swing wild hoping that something will land eventually and they’ll win by knock out. From time to time they get lucky, however, most of the time they’ll simply get tired and the other fighter will take over and knock them out instead. A skillful fighter will feel out his/her opponent and look for any weaknesses or openings that they can use to their advantage. By doing so, they stand a good chance of finding success, if not in the early rounds, then most definitely in the later rounds. In your daily life, how many times do you complain about how bad things are vs. where your next opportunity is coming from? I’ll place a bet that you don’t look for new or better possibilities nearly enough- am I right? Each day is a day where you must look for bigger and better things for yourself. Why? Because no one will be doing it for you! 

 Here are a few ways to Look For Openings:

• Have your resume ready at all times
  
• Drop a line to your network contacts weekly
  
• Look for possible businesses to buy
  
• Learn how to market effectively
  

• Identify the root cause of the problem/challenge
  
• Find 3 to 5 possible solutions- either long and short term
  
• Call 3 close friends and ask for more possible solutions
  
• Ask those folks for help (accountability) until you get to the other side
  

4.5 Ways to Eat Like a Champion

3.5 Habits for the Holidays